note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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