I can text with my tongue
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
