Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
