There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
