Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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