i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
