Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
