Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
