On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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