Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
