hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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