Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
