Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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