just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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