alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I have post one night stand depression
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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