Screwed.edu
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
