There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
