What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
