easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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