It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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