It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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