i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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