dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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