So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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