My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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