he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
