but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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