woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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