i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
