the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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