we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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