I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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