the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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