i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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