your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
