It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize
