Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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