I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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