Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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