Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
