Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
