i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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