Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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