Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize