Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
