Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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