I'm really into asian looking animals
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
