Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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