Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
