Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
