the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize