Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just had sex on a roof
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
