Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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