the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
