I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
