Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
