the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
