Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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