What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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