she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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