I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
