Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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