I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
