Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
