After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
