i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
i think im in europe. pls send help
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
